Father's Day...remembering the men that I love most

I’ve had a crazy busy past week, but that’s the story of my life lol! It’s nice to sit in my office upstairs and just write….all.by.myself. It’s nice to reminisce. A lot of times I find myself so focused on my family, that I tend to forget about me. I forget about my feelings and I don't have time to always think.Well, I did just that last night. I gathered up my big scrapbook filled with stuff from my dad and all of the pictures I have of him. I sat down in my office all by myself and cried, laughed, smiled and just thought about way back when.With Father’s Day coming up on Sunday, it always takes me back. It’s such a bittersweet holiday for me. It makes me yearn for my dad. It makes me miss my Papa. But it also brings a smile to my face just to think about the amazing father figures I have in my life. Not to mention my husband who is an amazing father to our child.

I was just thinking last night while smoochin on my lil love bug how much I love him. Seriously, my heart could burst with the amount of love I have for him. Now that I’m a parent I realize how much my daddy loved me. I was his little princess and he was my prince daddy :). He spoiled me, doted on me and left me sweet little notes in my lunch box every morning before he left for work. He would ground me and then let me go to my friend’s house the very next day. He made me do chores and taught me to be responsible. He loved having ice cream dates at Dairy Queen when I finished cheerleading practice before we would head home. He let me enjoy my childhood, but was also strict. He taught me about work ethic and how to never give up. He was a fighter and a strong man. He battled cancer for many, many years but never gave up. I’m thankful for those memories. I’m thankful that I had my daddy here with me for 15 years of my life. But goodness gracious, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss him with every ounce of my being. It’s hard to graduate high school and college and not have your dad there. It’s even harder walking down the isle to marry your best friend without him by your side or having your first baby and him missing it. I know it's so selfish to feel that way, but I'm only human. God needed him more than I did and that gives me peace. It’s reassuring knowing that he is here and did see me accomplish all of those things, as he’s here with me every step of the way in spirit.

young handsome daddy of mine :)

I have stacks of these notes. I'm so glad I kept them...what an awesome reminder of how much he loved me. 

so sweet :)

I still love to carve pumpkins...I guess because he reminds me of him.

It's hard not to wonder 'what if'. What if he was still here...what would he think of my husband? I'm sure he wouldn't approve of a lot of the boyfriends I had, but I'm almost positive he would love Trevor. I wonder what kind of grandpa he would be? I bet a darn good one. My brother and I teach our kids about Papa Ben and my sweet Tanner Benjamin carries part of his name. I wonder what he would look like? He was always so handsome to me. I wonder where he would be working at and would he still live in the same house? I wonder so much about him and what it would have been like if he was still here. While I can wonder all day, I know for sure I'll see him again and really, that's all I need to keep me going.

stylin and profilin in the bright shirt :)

Daddy and my brother :))

The other sweet man in my life that has always been my rock was my sweet Papa. After my daddy passed, he filled that void of the father figure I needed so very much. He was the one who always made sure I was in church. He was the one who always took me to Burger King for chicken nuggets. He was the one who always carried me to the lake to camp every summer. He was the one who gave me advice about everything. He was the one who was always so very proud of my accomplishments. It’s equally hard not having him here, but I know he’s having a much better time in Heaven. That makes me smile.

I remember this day like it was yesterday. Hearing him say he was so proud of me was worth years of hard work. 

This was the last picture Tanner took with his Papa. He passed a few weeks after. So thankful I have such sweet pictures to remember him by. 

Although Father’s Day floods me with many memories of my daddy and Papa, it also makes me so appreciative of my step-dad, father-in-law and husband. My step-dad has been there for me since my teenage days. Bless his heart; he had to put up with a whole lotta crazy from me! He can fix anything and is such a handy man. I’m thankful for him and all of the advice he’s given me, all of the projects he helps me on and for loving Tanner unconditionally. My father-in-law is another blessing in my life. He is the man who has all of the answers. He’s business savvy and for that I am grateful :)) He is willing to help at the drop of a hat and the love he has for his children and grandchild is something special. I’m thankful for these two men and for how much they love me. They are both awesome father figures in my eyes. God knows what He’s doing and He put these two men in my life for a reason. I’m blessed.

He LOVES playing chase with Poppi :)) 

Spoiled rotten by his Pop!

My sweet brother was the one who walked me down the isle on my wedding day. I never would have thought almost 8 years later we would be as close as we are today. He reminds me so much of my daddy. He is an extremely hard worker and provides for his family. He is a fighter, never gives up and always stands for what he believes in. He cares for his girls like my daddy did for us. He treats them as if they’re princesses every day. That’s how it should be. The love he has for his girls is unconditional. He is one of the best daddy’s I know and I know without a doubt my dad would be so super proud of the man he has become. 

My sweet brother. I'm so glad he was by my side and gave me away on that special day.

And last but not least, my husband. I have doted on him many times in my posts, but I’ll say it over and over again…he’s one amazing daddy. He makes me wanna have lots more babies, just so I can see how great he is with each one. Lol totally kidding. Maybe one more and that’s about it. He certainly fits the bill for a father. He loves his child, he’s protective of him, he a disciplinarian, he’s caring and most of all he’s a great role model for Tanner. I’m proud to call him my husband and even more proud to call him the father of my child. Tanner is uber lucky to have him for a daddy!

Trevor's first Father's Day :))

So Happy Father’s Day to all of you special men in my life! Enjoy your day and don’t do a thing =) I love ya’ll to the moon and back!

Make sure you hug your daddy tight and give him lots of love if you’ve still got him here. And if not, just reminisce…remember the past. Hold those memories close. That’s what I plan to do.

Enjoy your weekend!! I plan to spend mine with those awesome dad’s listed above! Until next time…

Magan